60 conversation starters for a video call with someone new
Every question here is written for a live video call with someone you have only just met, and every one of them is open — it cannot be answered with a yes, a no or a place name. It is the complete set behind the openers on the Omet live video chat homepage: pick one before you connect, and the pause after hello has somewhere to go.
Ask "what" and "which", not "do you".
"Do you like music?"
"Yeah." And now it is your turn again.
"What song have you replayed too many times lately?"
A song, a reason, often a story — and three things to ask about next.
That is the whole trick, and it is why a question about the same topic can either start a conversation or end one. There is a longer explanation, with a way to rewrite any closed question on the spot, in open vs closed questions.
A good question at the wrong minute is a bad question.
The groups below are ordered by when they work, not by topic. Jump to the one that fits where your call is.
First minute
Light, concrete and easy to answer. The goal is not depth, it is getting both people talking.
Once it is moving
Taste and choice. Enough to find out what the other person is like, without asking them to explain themselves.
When it is going well
The questions that make a call worth remembering. Save them — they need the warmth the first two stages build.
Places
The easiest place to start. Everybody is somewhere, and on a video call you can often see a little of it.
- What place would you go back to tomorrow if someone paid for the flight?
- Which city surprised you the most, and what did you expect instead?
- Where were you living three years ago?
- What is the view like from where you are sitting right now?
- What is one thing a visitor should eat where you live?
- Which place have you been meaning to visit for years and still have not?
- What does a normal Sunday look like in your town?
- Where is the most beautiful place you have been that almost nobody has heard of?
- What do people from other places always get wrong about where you live?
- If you could live somewhere else for a year, where would it be?
Everyday life
Small, specific and easy to answer honestly. Specific is the important part: "how was your day" gets "fine", "what did today look like" gets a story.
- What is something you could talk about for an hour without getting bored?
- What did today actually look like for you?
- What is the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
- What is a small thing that makes your day noticeably better?
- What are you looking forward to this week?
- What is the most useful thing you have learned from a video online?
- Which hobby have you picked up and dropped more than once?
- What is the most useful thing you own that cost almost nothing?
- How do you usually spend the first hour after you wake up?
- What is something you are weirdly good at?
Food
The fastest route into culture, family and habit — and nobody has to think hard before answering.
- What did you last cook that turned out better than expected?
- Which dish from your childhood would you order right now if you could?
- What food do people love that you have never understood?
- What is your go-to meal when you cannot be bothered to cook?
- Which snack is always somewhere in your kitchen?
- What is the best thing you have eaten while travelling?
- How do you take your coffee or tea, if you drink either?
- What is a food rule in your family that nobody else seems to follow?
- Which place near you would you take a visitor to eat?
- What is one recipe you could teach someone in five minutes?
Music and screens
Taste questions. They work best a minute or two in, when there is enough warmth for someone to admit to a guilty favourite.
- What song have you replayed too many times lately?
- What is the first album you ever bought with your own money?
- What would be playing in the background right now if it were up to you?
- Which film can you quote almost line by line?
- What show did you start as background noise and end up hooked on?
- Which singer do you like that would surprise people who know you?
- What song takes you straight back to one particular summer?
- What is the best live show you have ever been to?
- Which film do you think everyone should see once?
- What are you watching at the moment, and would you recommend it?
Would you rather
Technically these can be answered in one word — which is why they only work with the follow-up "why?" attached. Ask it every time.
- Would you rather travel alone or with friends?
- Would you rather have one long conversation or ten short ones?
- Would you rather know everyone in the room or nobody at all?
- Would you rather live by the sea or in the mountains?
- Would you rather speak every language or play every instrument?
- Would you rather have a quiet night in or a loud night out?
- Would you rather see one day of the future or relive one day of the past?
- Would you rather remember everything or be able to forget anything you chose?
- Would you rather give up music or films for a year?
- Would you rather wake up early every day or stay up late every night?
When it is going well
Not openers. Asked in the first minute these feel like an interview; asked twenty minutes into a good call they are what people remember afterwards.
- What is something you have changed your mind about in the last few years?
- What are you trying to get better at this year?
- What is the best piece of advice you have actually followed?
- Who has had the biggest influence on the way you think?
- What does a really good day look like for you?
- What are you proud of that nobody ever asks about?
- What would you do differently if you were starting over somewhere new?
- What small decision ended up changing a lot?
- Which part of your life right now would surprise your younger self most?
- What is a question you wish people asked you more often?
Three things that make any of these work.
Listen for the detail
The answer to a good question always contains one thing more specific than the rest — a name, a place, a "well, sort of". That detail is your next question.
Ask the second question
The opener gets things started; the follow-up is what keeps them going. How to ask a follow-up question covers the four kinds worth knowing.
Answer it yourself
If they turn the question around, have an answer ready. A conversation where only one person talks about themselves is an interview.